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Friday, September 23, 2005

vindication for the damned

forward: this is an email i just slammed/jammed out to my friend nate. . . if he allows me i'll happily post his email to which i was responding. . .hope this proves interesting for someone. . . as far as stream-of-conscience philosophy can. . .with many a parenthetical music reference. . .



natey,

i feel this is an opportune time to remind you that, yes, i am always behind people who pursue their art (i know you know this, but i'm on a roll). . . no matter what age. . . my only regret in said category would be that i didn't pursue it more wholeheartedly and strenuously at an earlier age, however these regrets are not mine to have for if i hadn't traveled the path that i subsequently have, i never would have met the people i've met, made the parties i've made and ruled the multivariate scenes i've ruled. . . let's be honest. . . would i give anything to be 15 and have ultimate clarity? as far as the future is concerned? in order that i should definitively know what, in fact, it is that I SHOULD DO WITH MY LIFE, sure, but for one reason or another that wasn't/isn't the case with me. i want to do anything/everything. there resides in me a yearning for nearly all experiences, lives, fortunes, misfortunes, habittrails and existences. . . nothing jells and i yearn to live it all. . . (a side step here. . . i've heard all the hype about Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, so in my online gluttony that was yesterday, i downloaded some of their shit. . . as well as Art Brut, Pavement, Pulp, GBV, Nirvana, various hip-hop. . . anyway, i just heard 18,000 Lira by your boys AB and it was alright, but this CYHSY song just came on and for a first listen, it's fucking great. . . even though there isn't really anything spectacular about it, just good music, the song is called "The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth", it's still playing. . .damn refreshing. . . check 'em out if you get the chance. . . i want to hear more. . .they blew up all crazy big in NYC and sould 25,000 copies of their CD from their basement Pitchfork reported, so well, they became Insound's #1 seller, because of this they are being given the opportunity to get a distro deal directly with a major. . . wierd. . .very interesting business-side stuff. . .) Rocking to GBV Dusted now. . . shit i love random window player action. . . anyway, where was i before i was distracted by CYHSY. . . ah yes, well art is art and if doing it makes you happy then you have to do it. I don't think it's something you can get around. whenever i return to the states whenever or wherever that maybe. . . art is all i'm gonna do. i've wasted too much of my time 'workin' for the man' and worrying about meaningless bullshit to "put everything off until i get older and have the money to do what i want". . . it's just not an option for me, i've got to do it now. . . or it won't be done at all. . . and i can't imagine anything worse than looking back later and thinking. . . .'what if'. . . it sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it. . . bullshit. . . also i think we have to do these things for those who can't. . . i got an email from harris the other day where he said. . ."I am starting to believe that the economic reality in the USA is that you are probably not going to be able to have a job that fulfills you. You just need to pay the damn bills, especially if you have a family. So fuck it! I just want a damn paycheck, I'll seek fulfillment in other areas." . . . while this is practical for him, because he does have a family, it scares the shit out of me. . .I don't want to get stuck in that situation. . .I know/hope that harris will be fine and will seek fulfillment in other areas, i'm not dissing him, but i'm still trying to be young and idealistic, 2 things i feel like the world tries to strip one of everyday. . . they beat you down with the "well, you're getting older, time to grow up" mantras of bullshit. . . all it means is 'give up'. . . 'fall in line', 'get a job and fucking procreate for christ's sake', as if the world needs more kids. . .what they really mean is. . . we can see that you're at an age where we were already beat. . . we'd already given up. . . why haven't you?. . .but most of all they are confused and irate and jealous of you. . . yes we are older, but we are still kids at heart and it FUCKING KILLS THEM, we run, play, laugh, fuck, smile, party, converse, and revel in an ecstatic mode of joy they surrendered for a secure job and paycheck years ago and now that they can see we haven't been so easily fooled they're pissed. . . oh well. . . i ain't stoppin' anytime soon. . .we must always question. . . as i'm fond of repeating whenever i find out that someone is 'content' in their position in life (i mean, i'm glad tait is happy, it seems like he's actually found a balance in something he's interested in and something he likes to do, but what, exactly is neterer doing?? is he really happy with where his life is headed) {another music sidebar, sorry {Kinks destroyer came on. . . wtf is up with that song. . . are they singing about destroying themselves?? because that song is a big rip off of all day and all nite. . . i mean wtf is up with this song. . . i came across it while looking for Destroyer tracks on Limewire}} so back to contentment. . . i'm always fond of quoting that one dude, what's his name, oh yeah Socrates. . . you know he once said, "The unexamined life isn't worth living'' sometimes when i tell people this the just look blankly at me. . . sometimes they get it. . . i think life is one big question, and we must always ask, interrogate, challenge ourselves, otherwise, what is the point? really? how do you ever figure things out, or move forward in life? [MILK IT] the truth is, i don't think those people ever really do, they've got a path and that's the one upon which they stay. there is no straying for them. . .they just live and work in a kind of limbo. . . i'm sure they see it as a kind of contentment, or acceptance of their place in life. . .but it scares the shit out of me. . . i don't ever want to be happy if that's what it boils down to. . . from here it looks like a limpid acquiescence. . .TEST MEAT!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha how are you liking the random music updates. . . i'd probably be more coherent and/or would get more done if i wasn't listening to music. . . i would be fine if it was in the background, but coming out of the computer speakers here i can't ignore it. . .i never understood that either. . . how people could play music so they could get some work done. . . i can, rarely if ever, get any work done while listening music. . . as soon as the next song comes on i find that i've stopped whatever i was doing and am listening to the song. . .of course there are exceptions. . . when it's something you've listened to a thousand times. . . but still. . .well, maybe i should end this fucking shit-storm of an email. . . i hope i addressed your questions. . . i feel that this subject along with a couple others we've had are always/constantly up for discussion/debate/review. . . as it's a truly worthy thing to talk about. . .as interesting as reality tv must be to some people (they don't have lives of their own and must then live vicariously through others) i'm sure they'd be bored with our esoteric, inner-struggle debates. . . you know, speaking of, a lot and really, i mean a lot of people don't like Hamlet, cause they see it in a similar light. . . as in, why is he always whiny and why doesn't he just do something about it already. . . but i think the psychological struggle that exists in man and, to a greater or lesser extent has always existed is fully realized in the text. . . but what do i know. . .In the mouth a desert. . . the king of id. . . now here's a banal note about my macca ignorance. . .
yeah, i know you had a certain affinity for Flaming Pie. . .and remember Dustin giving you a good amount of shit about it, but i don't think i ever really listened to the album myself, just heard the random song you would play on the 'box at EF. but i did look up the albums he's released recently and the one i hadn't heard of was Driving Rain, it seems to have garnished some good reviews, what about that album?? I'm also aware that he did 2 albums of tape experimentation's, of which i heard the first was supposed to be really good, do you know anything about those??

as always, take care and let me know if would like to discuss this topic some more i'm sure you've got some other valid points as well. . . as sloppy as most of my email is i think i'm gonna post it on my blog. . . a) because it's been awhile since i've posted anything and b) because someone might actually find it interesting. . .

love,

-hoops


PS. the music is back in the middle room. . . rock out brotha!

1 comment:

harris said...

nice post hoops